Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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