what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
