You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
