I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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