How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
