look no pants
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
