everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I think I am morally bankrupt
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
