Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
