that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
