"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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