Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
