And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize
