I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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