i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
