I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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