my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
