I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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