I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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