dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
