I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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