he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
