I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
