My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
This is a mass text to all my friends. Whoever gets this first, please find me and confiscate my phone immediately. I am far too high to have it. Even if you have to punch me in my face to get it. Otherwise, let the "High While Analyzing Disney Movies" texts begin.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
