I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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