after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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