just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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