I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
