eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
