Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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