he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
