Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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