break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
