im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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