I hate your face
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
You pole danced in your parka.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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