shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Drunk is not a location!
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
