I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Pappa wants mamma naked
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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