i permit you to call me
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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