Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Is it penis luge time yet?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
