that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize