in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
