Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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