We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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