I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize