friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Drunk is not a location!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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