Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
