youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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