3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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