I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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