Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
