I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
