happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Enjoy the penises
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
