Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
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So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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