I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
