I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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