Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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