people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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