If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
