Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
