he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize