I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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