I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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