Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
two words: eviction party
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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