We're facebook friends in real life
I hate all girls vehemently.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
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